Funny Statuses for a Wednesday:

1. If all our national holidays were observed on wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
2. Oh. Awesome. A gift card. It’s like money, but I can only spend it where you thought I’d like to.
3. Why is Wednesday called “Hump Day” when most people get laid on the weekends?
4. When the clock factory burned, there was some second-hand smoke.
   
5. Wednesday is one of my favourite days of the week–my 7th favorite.
6. Taco Bell has so many festive names for the same three ingredients.
7. If genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, we should get cab drivers working on a cure for cancer.
8. Do you know what’s coming back? Boomerangs.
9. It’s never too late to start, which is why I’m putting it off till tomorrow.